Great read and awesome statement! Please read!

Great Read and statement coming from a black woman

She has a compelling argument and opinion on the results of the election. I support her vision and statement. I couldnt say it any better! Her being an minority as a black woman, to write this could put her life endanger. Her convictions are tried and true and her love for God is amazing! Some of us should be more like her! click above to read!

In the words of.....

       I was doing something tonight that I almost never do anymore. I use to do it all the time as a kid, pull out the inside fold of a tape or CD to read the right words to a song. not the ones I think they are saying or mumble to, and also read the few lines the artist wrote to say how or what inspired them to write this songs. Taylor Swifts new album is wonderful. You can tell she has grown as an artist and a person so much from her last album. She is a breath of fresh air to a music world that has gotten away from true talent to people who cant sing but are have that "star" quality and they pop them out like cookie cutters. Who wants that!?

       So, I had heard this one single that came out before the album that I thought was so deep in spirit and soul! I of those that thug at your heart strings even though you had ever experienced the pain this woman in the song felt. So, I go to the albums "digital booklet" as the would say now, to look for more information on the song. I questioned if Taylor had written it because it was so far beyond her years. I didn't find the song but I did find her prologue to the CD that we can all read and take something special from it. It really describes the emotions, the love, the hurt and the pain that we, in life, go through every time we take a chance on love. Here it is....

There's an old poem by Neruda that I’ve always been captivated by, and one of the lines in it has stuck with me ever since the first time I read it. It says "love is so short, forgetting is so long." It's a line I’ve related to in my saddest moments, when I needed to know someone else had felt that exact same way. And when we're trying to move on, the moments we always go back to aren't the mundane ones. They are the moments you saw sparks that weren't really there, felt stars aligning without having any proof, saw your future before it happened, and then saw it slip away without any warning. These are moments of newfound hope, extreme joy, intense passion, wishful thinking, and in some cases, the unthinkable letdown. And in my mind, every one of these memories looks the same to me. I see all of these moments in bright, burning, red. 

My experiences in love have taught me difficult lessons, especially my experiences with crazy love. The red relationships. The ones that went from zero to a hundred miles per hour and then hit a wall and exploded. And it was awful. And ridiculous. And desperate. And thrilling. And when the dust settled, it was something I’d never take back. Because there is something to be said for being young and needing someone so badly, you jump in head first without looking. And there's something to be learned from waiting all day for a train that's never coming. And there's something to be proud of about moving on and realizing that real love shines golden like starlight, and doesn't fade or spontaneously combust. Maybe I’ll write a whole album about that kind of love if I ever find it. But this album is about the other kinds of love that I’ve recently fallen in and out of. Love that was treacherous, sad, beautiful, and tragic. But most of all, this record is about love that was red. 

       I thought it was very well written and in the two paragraphs you can really see the inside of this girls heart. Its things we all feel and we think these feelings are only ours and don't ever express them, in fear  of embarrassment or rejection. I love everything Taylor has to say in this and what she expresses in her music. It seems like shes reading a book about my life. Congratulations Taylor! You have made the leap of being just a teenage country/pop star to an adult super star. Not most singers can do that!

   The song that is described above is.... "Ronan" Taylor Swift

Sisters

Growing up with a sibling can be special and fun, Its the only other person in your life that is closest to you. She's been there for every special moment, she has the same parents and know most everything about you. My sister and I spent a lot of time together when we were growing up. I remember the day she was born, and how my Dad picked me up from my Grandparents to take me to see her. We stopped by the candy store in the mall before and got a baby bottle full of jelly Beans to give my mom when we got there. They made us put these yellow ugly scrubs on before we could go in and meet her. That day changed the rest of my life cause I finally had someone that I could tell everything to and we would alway be there for each other no matter what. Sometimes friends so the same thing but their not blood related and they had different parents and a different life growing up. Sisters share so much and its a bond that could never be broken.

The other day she was here to come and get her hair done, and as I am sitting here looking at her I started thinking. I know everything about this person and have spent more time with her more then any one in the whole, experience all the highs and lows in life, but I look at her as she is telling me stories of things she done recently and friends of hers that I dont know of. Then I start to think THIS person, is a stranger to me. I felt like I know nothing about her now. I knew her once when she was a little girl and till about 18 but now I ask myself who is this, what happened to the little girl I knew. It makes me sad that this is my best friend I have known all my little but shes not there anymore. I told my mom what I was thinking and she says well you two are growing up and starting to have lives of your own, and I know that but I see other sisters that maintain all those things and continue to make more memories. A friend of mine asked me that same day "Do you miss your sister?" and yeah, I do miss her. But do I miss the little girl I grew up with or do I felt left behind by her and miss getting to know the person she is becoming.

I guess I have to blame things on growing up and moving on in life. To me thats just an excuse. We both need to more into our relationship. She lives in a different city and works a lot. And when she has free time she spends it with her friends. I feel like if she has nothing to do then she will come around and its usually not for very long. Does she not like me or us? I really dont know what to think.

But I do miss my sister and I wish we had a closer relationship but time seems to be drifting us apart.

              I love you Taren! Never forget I am always here!

Feeling Beautiful

All women in this world want to look beautiful and feel beautiful. But sometimes it's not so easy for some. Cancer has affect my family, my friends and my clients. When I have clients that come in that are fighting cancer and going through chemotherapy, they already feel bad on the inside. It's my job to help lift their spirits on the inside by making them feel beautiful on the outside in anyway I can. Take a moment to watch this YouTube video to hear what Laura Mercier, a top makeup artist in the world, and sephora are doing to help women fighting their battle with ovarian cancer. A little bit of makeup can go a long way to lift the spirit of a woman and make them feel like themselves again. Don't let cancer define who you are but fight the fight and beat it and show yourself and the world you are a strong beautiful woman that can survive anything that comes her way!


Click here to find out how u can help fight ovarian cancer

Girl Friends....

When you turn 30 people always ask "Do you feel any different?" at the time when I was first asked I would have to say no, but as the year has gone by I have seen so many changes in my life from, how I react to relationships, how I feel about people that don't have the same opinion as mine, how people perceive me and most of all my friendships.

When your a child most of what you hear from your parents you tend to believe as it to be true. I think this stays with us till we get to college when we start to venture out of your comfort zone and start to meet different people outside of your inner circle and start to form ideas and opinions of our own. Sometimes, especially from the ages of 18-25, your opinion changes from your parents and family and you start to rebel. After about 25 you start calming down, your graduating and your starting to enter the "REAL" world. So, that summer break to Mexico is gone and that ski trip over presidents day comes to an end(unless your like one of my many friends that decided teaching is their calling). But the amazing side of all this time is that you have the world at your feet. You can step in any direction and start a life you have always wanted. Its probably the most exciting time in your life. You get to leave the past behind and the future is what you make of it.

While your making your decisions on what direction you want your life to go something slips away. I think more with women then with men and I don't know if its cause girls and women are so judgmental of each other and one thing can ruin a friendship for ever or people just slip away.

So, one of the things I think about the most are my friends, past and present. I remember being on the play ground asking another little girl if she "would be my friend?". You girls know you all did it! I can go back in my life from when I was a little kid and remember my child hood friends and the friends I had as I got older, and wonder where they all were. But also! Why they were in my life and why they slipped away. Then you have those friends that are your friends forever! No matter where you go or what comes between you, you will always be best friends, more like SISTERS!

There are only a few people in my life that I can actually say that I think that we are more then just friends but sisters. They are the ones that you can go months or years without talking and when you do see each other its like time never had pasted. You pick up where you left off and you find yourself back to the two little girls that played house and danced to your favorite songs and was right there when you tried to go talk to the guy that you liked that you thought was oh so cute!

But as the years go life takes you all on different paths. Some marry their high school sweet hearts and begin a family. Others go off to college and use their 4 to 5 years to party and to find themselves away from their hometown or away from their parents. They find jobs away from home and become successful, meet someone special and start a family. Then there are others like me still learning about myself every day and still waiting for the right man to come into my life. As the years pass and the friends start having getting married and having children it just seem kinda weird. I think the first time I actually saw one of my friends with her husband in their own house, I felt like they were just playing house. That it was all make believe and jane would be crawling into my bed next weekend for a sleep over.

This post wasn't suppose to be just about remembering friends of the past and growing up but it seemed to just grow into this. My main objection of this post was about friends but how does fate decide which ones stay in your life for years and years and which ones are just here for a split second and then fade away. There is a passage in the Bible that I can't seem to find that teaches us that there is a purpose for everyone that comes into our lives. They could be one of those people that come into your life for a short period of time to teach you something whether it be bad of good. Then there are those people that come into your life that stay, they are always there, they stay to help you become you. They help you celebrate your accomplishments and are there for you to lend a shoulder to cry on. Those are the people you can call your sisters in life.

But the question is, how does fate decide which persons are the ones that are going to be that in your life? Sometimes we try so hard to make a friendship work and it just doesn't happen. Your schedules are different and it just doesn't work out, you may be in two different places in your lives. But those ones that are meant to stay are the ones that you don't have to work so hard for. Everything just clicks and they are there. But it saddens me the friendships that do slip away and you know that awkward moment that you run into that person and you try to be friendly and may be make a  connection but for some reason it just doesn't happen.

Gods hand is in all of our relationships from friendships to family and more. If you let God lead your path fate(Gods plan) will never fault you but lead you to the people that make you the best person you can be in this life. Those people that stay, those are the people that bring out the best in you and we all want to live a happy life!


       

....a woman scorned

     "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned"

Did you know this statement was written by a man, William Congreve, in 1687 for the the play called The Morning Bride. We now paraphrase it to "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". If a man back in 1687 then that means men haven't changed in hundreds of years. They were the same now as they were centuries ago. GAMES! They love to play games! Being single and at the age of 30 I am tired of games! I want to find a guy that can be honest with me and tell me what is going on and not play games with me. I thought by 30 guys would have matured enough and have grown out of their 20s and gotten past the little games they play. Well I was wrong!! Guys are always sneaking around no matter what age they are. I even see it in my dad sometimes. I have to ask him, would you want someone treating your daughter like that. Of course, he says no so I tell him its better to be honest then lying to a girl or just not telling the girl whats going on cause in the end your going to look like the fool or the asshole.

Recently, I have had to deal with a guy that was sneaking around behind my back. Its taken me a few weeks to be able to talk about it cause I was SO angry with the situation! I met this guy on 4th of july and he was so nice! He had a lot of the qualities I want in a guy and its like we looked at a lot of things the same way. Now weeks later I wonder if I really knew they guy or was he just feeding me a bunch of lines to make me believe we were so much alike. He started coming to my house and staying the night and he was so attentive. I was surprised he was so into me even though we hadn't slept together. He even asked me to pick up some stuff for his room while I was out shopping one day and came to get his hair cut from me. But one night things changed. I had gone with a friend to the movies and we stopped by the bar he works at to say hi and have a few drinks. The night before he asked me to come up there to hang out. I did and he was so sweet. So, the next night when we came up there after the movie, he wasn't quite acting the same way. He seemed distant and didn't come around to talk to us much. My friend blew it off to her being there and her and I were talking so he didn't want to interrupt but I saw something a little different. We hadn't been there but 15mins and this other girl walks in. I had seen her on his face book page talking to him about something and at the time I didn't think anything of it cause I know guys that have friends that are girls and I have friends that are guys. I am not one for saying you can't be friends with the opposite sex. When she came in he gave here a big hug and came from behind the bar to talk to her, and paid more attention to her then me. He was acting the same way with her as he did the night before with me. So, I got an idea that there was someone else he was talking to other then me. I don't think he noticed that I noticed him with this girl. Girls get this feeling in their gut that tells us that something is going on and we don't have a blind eye, we see it all.

This isn't the first time that a guy I thought I was dating that had me and another girl at the same bar at the same time. It happened a few years ago. He had one girl on one side of the bar and me on the other and he kept going back and forth. I went looking for him and caught him with this girl. I confronted him and he didn't have much to say but I'm sorry. Guys think they are getting away with something and they laugh about it thinking they have us fooled but little do they know we can tell when things change and when he is sneaking around. For me, I would rather a guy be straight up with him, be honest, tell me, hey I just want you to know there is also someone else in the picture. I would leave the relationship with a lot more respect then when they sneak around and you catch them.

So, days go by and he don't distant and he wasn't calling or coming over to stay and when I would text him his response was short. Finally I texted him saying, why couldn't you respect me enough to just tell me you weren't interested in me and that there was someone. In turn, He got mad at me for calling him out. I said all you had to do was be honest and I would understand then just drop me like a hot potato. He didn't realize I knew about the other girl. I emailed him the other night to try to clear the air and explain what I knew and what I wish he would have done. Instead of texting, emailing or calling me back to explain or just say sorry, he says nothing and blocks me from his FB page. Now how mature is that. This guy is a 35yo that has 2 kids. Its time for him to grow up and act like a man. Be honest with people. Quit playing games cause it only makes you look like the asshole.

I dont understand why men continue to act like such idiots! Why can't you just be honest? if you were you could walk away with someone thats still your friend and us having respect for you. Now to me he's an asshole. But to him I am the crazy girl. Why am I crazy? cause I just wanted him to show me respect and that he got caught. Now my name is going to be drug through the mud instead of his. Theres definitely a double standard between men and women and its not just in relationships, its with jobs, amount of pay and power. When are we going to finally stop giving them a pass. There was this website I had come across years ago that listed names and pictures of guys that women needed to stay away from. If a woman got burned she would put him on the list and tell why he's a user or an asshole. It was a great site but it didn't get very popular. I think men had gotten mad that they were being pictured and talked about by women and the site closed cause so men were trying to sue.

The question is, how can you tell if he is really a good guy and telling you the truth and how can you know you can trust this guy or not. They all put on a persona. This guy I think kept coming over hoping I was going to hook up with him and when he saw I wasn't then he bolted. It makes me so angry when I do trust someone and he takes advantage of that and fools me. I don't know if I am more mad at myself for trusting him so quickly or if I am more mad with him for the way he treated me. All I ask for is honesty. if you don't like me then fine, tell me. Honesty gets you a lot further in life then lying or omission of the truth. Guys grow up and stop playing the games you played when you were in high school or college. Be a real man! Show us you are worth the time we put into a relationship.

Old friend

Ladies, Remember the guy that you always had a thing for but you were only just friends, sometimes best friends. You were to scared to show him how you felt cause you didn't want to complicate your friendship and what if he didn't feel the same way. You would have thrown away a friendship that meant so much to you cause in the back of your head it was more then just a friendship.

But what happens when you both know there is more between you then just being friends. Everytime you are around each other you have butterflies fluttering around in you stomach. Every little touch, every smile, every hug is magnified 10x more then it is with anyone else. What you feel inside, you swear its love, whether its love for him as a close friend or more then that, you know its something more then what you have with your other guy friends. 

As days and months go by you know he feels it just as much as you do but never acts on it. Theres times where he won't even talk to you, and for us girls, it drives us crazy! We wonder what we have done wrong. What I have been told, its the guy starting to feel too much so he distances himself from you, hoping  those feelings will go away. 

I have a friend like this. We have always had a special connection. We met on my 21st birthday and most of the time, it doesn't matter where we are in the world, we try to remember to call each other and catch up. We've come in and out of each others lives cause of his career that takes him all over, so, when he is close we try to make plans to just see each other for just a few minutes. He can put the biggest smile on my face no matter if I am at my lowest or just need a laugh. We have had some great times together! A lot of the treasured memories that I hold in my heart include him. 

The downfall to this relationship is when he is dating someone he doesn't tend to want to talk to me. I know, I know! You are saying he has a girlfriend and its the right thing to do. I know that, but I am that type of person that I have close platonic relationships with guys and girls and think that it should go both ways. Girls are just so insecure and jealous, but thats a hole different story! 

SO, I haven't heard from my friend in a while. He was dating a girl that last few years that he was pretty serious with. We did see each other a couple years ago when he was in town for work and it was so great, like old times! He just knows me like no one else! At the end of the night I got a kiss on the cheek and he said he was in love with this girl and he was sorry. I think about him from time to time, wondering where he is and if he is ok. Thank goodness we have a mutual friend and he fills me in on whats going on. I talked to our mutual friend the other day and I had asked him if he ever found out why my friend won't talk to me. Back in January I tried reaching out to him after I went through that hard time in my life, and I never heard from him. Our mutual friend tried to call and explain what was going on and that it was important to call me, but no phone call, no email, no text, nothing!! I keep asking and wondering why!

His birthday is coming up soon and so is our "10yr anniversary" (we kid about it). He has been on my mind a lot lately. Our mutual friend told me that I should try to contact him again and see what happens and where he is in his life and if he was ready to have me back in his life again. By that statement, I am guessing that my guy has ended his long term relationship with this girl. Jokingly, I said to our friend that I wish I could just show up at his door step and then he would really have to talk to me. Our friend then says, you should, it would make him face his feelings and emotions he has about me. I said, well I don't even know where he is, then the guy offered up the information, which I was surprised. But really! That only happens in movies. The girl or guy shows up at the persons doorstep and it ends happily ever after. In a movie, we don't think its weird or crazy but in real life, someone would think you were off your rocker, crazy! 

I don't know what to do. I am tired of chasing him and wish he would show up on my door and tell me he's been blind all these years and he has not wanted to come to terms with his feelings for me. We have shared so much and I hate to leave him in my past. The way I feel for him is different then anyone else. The things we did, the fun we had and the things we shared is all I can think about. He says he told me once that I was the only girl that he had kept a friendship with in all the places his gone. Usually when he's gone from a place he's gone but he's always taken me with him. This time its just been too long and I wish we could have one chance to see if we could really make it work.  But most of all, I miss him and our friendship in my life. 

Anyone else out there have a long lost love that you wonder what would have happened if only.......

Wrong place, Right time....

Have you ever felt that you are in the right time in your life but in the wrong place? Like, you are trapped in a place and time and if you could just break out of what you think is a jail, then your life would start unfolding the way you want it to go. That what I feel like right now. I live in a beautiful place and I shouldn't be taking it for granted, but my life feels like its at a stand still. When I first moved here years ago, I came kicking and screaming! I didn't want to leave Charleston, it was my hometown but the Lord basically kicked my ass and said GO! So, I went and it was the best move I could have made at the time. Things started out great, job was going good, I bought a home and I thought I was on my way to finding my happiness. I had all kinds of opportunities that came my way and people that came into my life to expand my views on life and job. And I am so greatful for everyone of those people and those opportunities but now its like I am at the bottom of the bottle. I have used up everything I can learn or get from here. I am ready to move on.

I don't know where I am suppose to be or were I am going. Right now I am going NO WHERE! But that feeling inside you that something is about to happen that is going to change your life and there is more out there for you then just this, its eating at me. I am waiting for God to give me that nudge or sign saying this is your next adventure.

I am getting older and I know 30 isn't old but I want a family one day. I feel like "my clock is ticking", but that's not just it. I am just ready for a new adventure in life. I am BORED!!! The worse part is I cant do anything to make a change right now cause of a situation that is out of my hands and hopefully in a few months it will be taking care of.

Till then and when, this is still my outlet to the world beyond the little town I live in......

Valentines Day

As we all know February 14th is right around the corner. This day that we call a "holiday" is a heart breaker for most of us out there. Its not fair that the people that are lonely have to sit and watch all those in love get flowers delivered or candies bought and cards to read from that special someone. What about those of us that don't have someone and are single. Its one of those days that the single people out there would rather just call in sick and not even go out of the house so your not reminded of the fact that your not in love. Every year for me usually sucks. When I was in middle school and high school it seems like I was always sick and had to stay home. I don't know if it was just a fluke or it was psychological.

I have to say though, last year was the only year I have actually enjoyed Valentines day and had a date for. It was kind of those days that seemed so perfect that it didn't feel real and I kept trying to wake myself up from a dream. I spent the morning with the guy that I was dating long distance and it was the first time we had gotten to spend time with each other as a couple, just he and I. Our lips met and it was like lightning and my whole body shivered. Then he stopped kissing me and just smiled and looked straight into my eyes and just stared for a minute or so. I asked him if everything was ok and he said "yes, I am just taking in the moment". That is probably the sweetest thing I have ever heard come out of a guys mouth. My heart MELTED! Thats the moment I started to fall in love with him.

That day was one of the most wonderful days of my life till now, and I only have had one though day that tops it, it was when I graduated from high school. You can see how interesting my life has been. But I just felt so special, so loved and so happy that I couldn't contain myself. Now, today, it breaks my heart and I just want to cry. I want to ask, what happened? where did that moment disappear to? So, now I just have to move on. This year I am going anti-valentines day, and am going to a bar and hang out with the other singles in town. Maybe I will run into one I actually don't know. In this town, everyone know everyone. If anyone has an appointment with me on the 15th I would call and reschedule. I might be calling in with the vodka flu ;) I am sure all of you will understand.

To all those lovers out there, I hope you have a great day celebrating the love you have found. To the one I have lost and miss terribly, I wish we could go back to last year and to that hotel room and lock ourselves in and never leave. And for all you single people that live here at the beach, I will see you at the Hippo!

New Year, New Adventures

Well, its already half way through January and 2012 has already brought on quite a few changes. Some good, some not so good, and one really painful. People all around the world watch the ball drop every year and we all have our traditional new years day dinner, then we make a resolution that we try so hard to adhere too but usually we have broken it by February.

January 1st is always the most hopeful time of the year. We are all ready for a new start and let the year before be left behind. This year I was unable to celebrate the new year with my friends and family, I didn't get to watch the ball drop or eat new years day dinner. It was just another day. Nothing new and exciting happened, it was just like the day before. We build up this "holiday" to be more then it really is. Our problems are still there when we wake up the next day. Nothings changed but the the last digit on the calendar and it always seems to take till June to stop writing the year before on checks and any other document we have to sign.

So, Why do we make January 1 the most happy and hopeful day of the year? This year I am not going to make a resolution cause I never follow through with it, but I am going to choose one word that I will use to inspire me for the whole year. Where it be believe, change, travel, adventure etc... That one word should help change my by promising myself that when trouble or anything arises then I will look to that word for guidance. Well will see how it goes. I heard about this on myoneword.org and read about it and maybe  its something you can commit to this year.

As for the changes for this year already, I have broken up with a guy that I truly loved. It was the right thing to do but it still hurts so much! I have a lawsuit that has been pending for a year and a half now. I finally  had my deposition last week. That means soon probably in March and April we will have mediation and hopefully settle it there. I am so ready to have this end and I can move on with my life! I am ready for a new start but I am not making one day the day I have to start or stop. I am letting God lead my steps and He show me the way to my destiny. You have to listen closely to hear Him sometimes but He's always there to get you where you need to be.

Remember, some bad things that happen are always the pits, they can be a blessing in disguise! Just wait and you'll see it!