But what happens when you both know there is more between you then just being friends. Everytime you are around each other you have butterflies fluttering around in you stomach. Every little touch, every smile, every hug is magnified 10x more then it is with anyone else. What you feel inside, you swear its love, whether its love for him as a close friend or more then that, you know its something more then what you have with your other guy friends.
As days and months go by you know he feels it just as much as you do but never acts on it. Theres times where he won't even talk to you, and for us girls, it drives us crazy! We wonder what we have done wrong. What I have been told, its the guy starting to feel too much so he distances himself from you, hoping those feelings will go away.
I have a friend like this. We have always had a special connection. We met on my 21st birthday and most of the time, it doesn't matter where we are in the world, we try to remember to call each other and catch up. We've come in and out of each others lives cause of his career that takes him all over, so, when he is close we try to make plans to just see each other for just a few minutes. He can put the biggest smile on my face no matter if I am at my lowest or just need a laugh. We have had some great times together! A lot of the treasured memories that I hold in my heart include him.
The downfall to this relationship is when he is dating someone he doesn't tend to want to talk to me. I know, I know! You are saying he has a girlfriend and its the right thing to do. I know that, but I am that type of person that I have close platonic relationships with guys and girls and think that it should go both ways. Girls are just so insecure and jealous, but thats a hole different story!
SO, I haven't heard from my friend in a while. He was dating a girl that last few years that he was pretty serious with. We did see each other a couple years ago when he was in town for work and it was so great, like old times! He just knows me like no one else! At the end of the night I got a kiss on the cheek and he said he was in love with this girl and he was sorry. I think about him from time to time, wondering where he is and if he is ok. Thank goodness we have a mutual friend and he fills me in on whats going on. I talked to our mutual friend the other day and I had asked him if he ever found out why my friend won't talk to me. Back in January I tried reaching out to him after I went through that hard time in my life, and I never heard from him. Our mutual friend tried to call and explain what was going on and that it was important to call me, but no phone call, no email, no text, nothing!! I keep asking and wondering why!
His birthday is coming up soon and so is our "10yr anniversary" (we kid about it). He has been on my mind a lot lately. Our mutual friend told me that I should try to contact him again and see what happens and where he is in his life and if he was ready to have me back in his life again. By that statement, I am guessing that my guy has ended his long term relationship with this girl. Jokingly, I said to our friend that I wish I could just show up at his door step and then he would really have to talk to me. Our friend then says, you should, it would make him face his feelings and emotions he has about me. I said, well I don't even know where he is, then the guy offered up the information, which I was surprised. But really! That only happens in movies. The girl or guy shows up at the persons doorstep and it ends happily ever after. In a movie, we don't think its weird or crazy but in real life, someone would think you were off your rocker, crazy!
I don't know what to do. I am tired of chasing him and wish he would show up on my door and tell me he's been blind all these years and he has not wanted to come to terms with his feelings for me. We have shared so much and I hate to leave him in my past. The way I feel for him is different then anyone else. The things we did, the fun we had and the things we shared is all I can think about. He says he told me once that I was the only girl that he had kept a friendship with in all the places his gone. Usually when he's gone from a place he's gone but he's always taken me with him. This time its just been too long and I wish we could have one chance to see if we could really make it work. But most of all, I miss him and our friendship in my life.
Anyone else out there have a long lost love that you wonder what would have happened if only.......
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