Used

I am struggling to put into words the emotions that consume my heart right now.

My Final Goodbye to you!!

"I found someone" ~Blake Shelton

I picked up the phone
She said hey it's me
I know it feels like forever since I've heard your voice
But I guess that's how it had to be

So we talked awhile
'Til she said I better go
But before we hung up she said

There's something you need to know

I found someone

It just happened outta the blue

Even though I'm moving on
It don't mean that I don't still love you
You'll always have
A place here in my heart
But somewhere in this new life I've begun

I found someone

Well I wasn't surprised

Still it hit me kinda hard
It's hard to believe a little space and time
Could turn into miles and worlds apart
I said I'm happy for you
You deserve the very best
Since you've been gone I've done some praying
Some searching for myself

And I found someone 

It just happened outta the blue

And even though I'm moving on
It don't mean that I don't still love you
You'll always have
A place here in my heart
But somewhere in this new life I've begun

I found someone
But it took tears and time down on my knees

And it's not who you'd ever guess
Or who I dreamed it'd be
But in the mirror one morning looking back at me

I found someone
Just happened outta the blue
It took everything I had
It took me losing you
But you'll always have
A place here in my heart
But somewhere in this new life I've begun
Looking for my place under the sun
I found someone

Final Goodbye

   
   I got your letter today with your final goodbye, and its ok cause u have found her! I have always just wanted you to be happy! I just thought it was going to be with me. I thought I could just let you go and you would find your way back to me through time and space. But you had other plans and you met someone else that you want to spend the rest of your life with. She makes you light up inside and brings out that big beautiful smile. I can say goodbye with a promise from her that she will always make you laugh, like we use to do! 

   So, I will let you go forever and honor your wishes. No matter what, you will always own a little piece of my heart. You took it with you that last spring when you left here. From then on learned how it truly felt to love someone and with each and every day my love for you has evolved into something more then I have ever known. 

   This is my final goodbye. You will always live in my memories and dreams. My prayer to the Lord is that you will always be blessed with more then this world can ever give you, always follow your heart in any decision you have to make. I will miss you more then you can imagine but its all for the best! If I see you in the future I wont say a word, just a smile from you will do and I'll know your happy. This is my final goodbye!

Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient and kind;

 love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.

 It does not insist on its own way;

 it is not irritable or resentful

 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 Love never ends

New Year, New Chapter!

Its such a cliche, "New Year, New You"! How many January's have you heard that? Just about everyone you can remember. I guess its the best time to put the past behind you and make a fresh start and a new beginning where ever you might be out there in the world. Most years you make resolutions and promise yourself THIS will be the year that YOU ARE GOING TO CHANGE. HAAA, How many of you get to February and forget what you promised yourself you would change. Over half of us never do the things we promise ourselves at the beginning of the year we would do. Putting the past behind you isnt as easy as it seems. Every step you have taken before now brings you to where you are now and all those steps whether they were successes or failures, they have made you the person you are today. Its the next step that changes your life. Even when you take that next step your still going to have to deal with things that happened in the past. Your past is what has made you the person you are today. Dont ever regret the things you did back then. You made the best decision for yourself at the time with the knowledge you had. Another cliche "Hind site is 20/20", you cant change it you just have to live with it.

My past has brought me here, to a folk in the road where I have to choose a path that I have been going down for the last few years or make a change and journey down a different path. Its so hard to make any kind of decision in life, but the ones that are going to affect the rest of your life are the hardest. Your standing on a cliff, do you take that leap and see if you can spread your wings and fly or if you fall flat on your face. No one likes changes, they scare us cause we dont know what the future holds, but no matter if your here or there you dont know what God has for you tomorrow. I have agonized over this decision and have gone back and forth with my feelings. I have done a lot of praying, talking with God and crying to Him also. I had to look at the past few years and ask myself if what I have been doing is making me happy, is it what I wanted for my life and if I stayed here would I ever find everything I want out of life. Then I looked at the other side. Is making this change going to help me find that happiness and joy that I am looking for in life. Thing is, I dont know either way. BUT one thing I do know, the path I have been going down hasnt brought me that happiness, joys and expectations I have for my life. I am thankful for the time I have had here and the people I have met and friends that I will always hold dear in my heart. And I will take with me the lessons I've learned about life. I have grown so much, and I think if I didnt have this experience here then I wouldnt be the better person I am today.

SO, I am off on a new journey. I have no idea what God has in store for me next, but I feel like I am making the right decision, taking the path God wants me to take. I will just have to find out what He has in store next. I am scared but I have faith that if I fall He will be there to pick me back up, just like He has before. 

I have mixed emotions about it though. I am leaving some people that I love so much and have become part of my family. I will always cherish the fun times and memories of them. They have taught me so much about life and I know they are only a call away but its still different when you move to a different city. They were the only ones I wanted to stay for, not for myself but just cause I love them so much and dont want to leave them. 

This week I am packing my house and my memories away for a while and holding back the tears with every box I fill and my heart breaks with every one I tape up. I guess its time to turn the page and start a new chapter.

Great read and awesome statement! Please read!

Great Read and statement coming from a black woman

She has a compelling argument and opinion on the results of the election. I support her vision and statement. I couldnt say it any better! Her being an minority as a black woman, to write this could put her life endanger. Her convictions are tried and true and her love for God is amazing! Some of us should be more like her! click above to read!

In the words of.....

       I was doing something tonight that I almost never do anymore. I use to do it all the time as a kid, pull out the inside fold of a tape or CD to read the right words to a song. not the ones I think they are saying or mumble to, and also read the few lines the artist wrote to say how or what inspired them to write this songs. Taylor Swifts new album is wonderful. You can tell she has grown as an artist and a person so much from her last album. She is a breath of fresh air to a music world that has gotten away from true talent to people who cant sing but are have that "star" quality and they pop them out like cookie cutters. Who wants that!?

       So, I had heard this one single that came out before the album that I thought was so deep in spirit and soul! I of those that thug at your heart strings even though you had ever experienced the pain this woman in the song felt. So, I go to the albums "digital booklet" as the would say now, to look for more information on the song. I questioned if Taylor had written it because it was so far beyond her years. I didn't find the song but I did find her prologue to the CD that we can all read and take something special from it. It really describes the emotions, the love, the hurt and the pain that we, in life, go through every time we take a chance on love. Here it is....

There's an old poem by Neruda that I’ve always been captivated by, and one of the lines in it has stuck with me ever since the first time I read it. It says "love is so short, forgetting is so long." It's a line I’ve related to in my saddest moments, when I needed to know someone else had felt that exact same way. And when we're trying to move on, the moments we always go back to aren't the mundane ones. They are the moments you saw sparks that weren't really there, felt stars aligning without having any proof, saw your future before it happened, and then saw it slip away without any warning. These are moments of newfound hope, extreme joy, intense passion, wishful thinking, and in some cases, the unthinkable letdown. And in my mind, every one of these memories looks the same to me. I see all of these moments in bright, burning, red. 

My experiences in love have taught me difficult lessons, especially my experiences with crazy love. The red relationships. The ones that went from zero to a hundred miles per hour and then hit a wall and exploded. And it was awful. And ridiculous. And desperate. And thrilling. And when the dust settled, it was something I’d never take back. Because there is something to be said for being young and needing someone so badly, you jump in head first without looking. And there's something to be learned from waiting all day for a train that's never coming. And there's something to be proud of about moving on and realizing that real love shines golden like starlight, and doesn't fade or spontaneously combust. Maybe I’ll write a whole album about that kind of love if I ever find it. But this album is about the other kinds of love that I’ve recently fallen in and out of. Love that was treacherous, sad, beautiful, and tragic. But most of all, this record is about love that was red. 

       I thought it was very well written and in the two paragraphs you can really see the inside of this girls heart. Its things we all feel and we think these feelings are only ours and don't ever express them, in fear  of embarrassment or rejection. I love everything Taylor has to say in this and what she expresses in her music. It seems like shes reading a book about my life. Congratulations Taylor! You have made the leap of being just a teenage country/pop star to an adult super star. Not most singers can do that!

   The song that is described above is.... "Ronan" Taylor Swift

Sisters

Growing up with a sibling can be special and fun, Its the only other person in your life that is closest to you. She's been there for every special moment, she has the same parents and know most everything about you. My sister and I spent a lot of time together when we were growing up. I remember the day she was born, and how my Dad picked me up from my Grandparents to take me to see her. We stopped by the candy store in the mall before and got a baby bottle full of jelly Beans to give my mom when we got there. They made us put these yellow ugly scrubs on before we could go in and meet her. That day changed the rest of my life cause I finally had someone that I could tell everything to and we would alway be there for each other no matter what. Sometimes friends so the same thing but their not blood related and they had different parents and a different life growing up. Sisters share so much and its a bond that could never be broken.

The other day she was here to come and get her hair done, and as I am sitting here looking at her I started thinking. I know everything about this person and have spent more time with her more then any one in the whole, experience all the highs and lows in life, but I look at her as she is telling me stories of things she done recently and friends of hers that I dont know of. Then I start to think THIS person, is a stranger to me. I felt like I know nothing about her now. I knew her once when she was a little girl and till about 18 but now I ask myself who is this, what happened to the little girl I knew. It makes me sad that this is my best friend I have known all my little but shes not there anymore. I told my mom what I was thinking and she says well you two are growing up and starting to have lives of your own, and I know that but I see other sisters that maintain all those things and continue to make more memories. A friend of mine asked me that same day "Do you miss your sister?" and yeah, I do miss her. But do I miss the little girl I grew up with or do I felt left behind by her and miss getting to know the person she is becoming.

I guess I have to blame things on growing up and moving on in life. To me thats just an excuse. We both need to more into our relationship. She lives in a different city and works a lot. And when she has free time she spends it with her friends. I feel like if she has nothing to do then she will come around and its usually not for very long. Does she not like me or us? I really dont know what to think.

But I do miss my sister and I wish we had a closer relationship but time seems to be drifting us apart.

              I love you Taren! Never forget I am always here!

Feeling Beautiful

All women in this world want to look beautiful and feel beautiful. But sometimes it's not so easy for some. Cancer has affect my family, my friends and my clients. When I have clients that come in that are fighting cancer and going through chemotherapy, they already feel bad on the inside. It's my job to help lift their spirits on the inside by making them feel beautiful on the outside in anyway I can. Take a moment to watch this YouTube video to hear what Laura Mercier, a top makeup artist in the world, and sephora are doing to help women fighting their battle with ovarian cancer. A little bit of makeup can go a long way to lift the spirit of a woman and make them feel like themselves again. Don't let cancer define who you are but fight the fight and beat it and show yourself and the world you are a strong beautiful woman that can survive anything that comes her way!


Click here to find out how u can help fight ovarian cancer