Used

I am struggling to put into words the emotions that consume my heart right now.

My Final Goodbye to you!!

"I found someone" ~Blake Shelton

I picked up the phone
She said hey it's me
I know it feels like forever since I've heard your voice
But I guess that's how it had to be

So we talked awhile
'Til she said I better go
But before we hung up she said

There's something you need to know

I found someone

It just happened outta the blue

Even though I'm moving on
It don't mean that I don't still love you
You'll always have
A place here in my heart
But somewhere in this new life I've begun

I found someone

Well I wasn't surprised

Still it hit me kinda hard
It's hard to believe a little space and time
Could turn into miles and worlds apart
I said I'm happy for you
You deserve the very best
Since you've been gone I've done some praying
Some searching for myself

And I found someone 

It just happened outta the blue

And even though I'm moving on
It don't mean that I don't still love you
You'll always have
A place here in my heart
But somewhere in this new life I've begun

I found someone
But it took tears and time down on my knees

And it's not who you'd ever guess
Or who I dreamed it'd be
But in the mirror one morning looking back at me

I found someone
Just happened outta the blue
It took everything I had
It took me losing you
But you'll always have
A place here in my heart
But somewhere in this new life I've begun
Looking for my place under the sun
I found someone

Final Goodbye

   
   I got your letter today with your final goodbye, and its ok cause u have found her! I have always just wanted you to be happy! I just thought it was going to be with me. I thought I could just let you go and you would find your way back to me through time and space. But you had other plans and you met someone else that you want to spend the rest of your life with. She makes you light up inside and brings out that big beautiful smile. I can say goodbye with a promise from her that she will always make you laugh, like we use to do! 

   So, I will let you go forever and honor your wishes. No matter what, you will always own a little piece of my heart. You took it with you that last spring when you left here. From then on learned how it truly felt to love someone and with each and every day my love for you has evolved into something more then I have ever known. 

   This is my final goodbye. You will always live in my memories and dreams. My prayer to the Lord is that you will always be blessed with more then this world can ever give you, always follow your heart in any decision you have to make. I will miss you more then you can imagine but its all for the best! If I see you in the future I wont say a word, just a smile from you will do and I'll know your happy. This is my final goodbye!

Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient and kind;

 love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.

 It does not insist on its own way;

 it is not irritable or resentful

 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 Love never ends

New Year, New Chapter!

Its such a cliche, "New Year, New You"! How many January's have you heard that? Just about everyone you can remember. I guess its the best time to put the past behind you and make a fresh start and a new beginning where ever you might be out there in the world. Most years you make resolutions and promise yourself THIS will be the year that YOU ARE GOING TO CHANGE. HAAA, How many of you get to February and forget what you promised yourself you would change. Over half of us never do the things we promise ourselves at the beginning of the year we would do. Putting the past behind you isnt as easy as it seems. Every step you have taken before now brings you to where you are now and all those steps whether they were successes or failures, they have made you the person you are today. Its the next step that changes your life. Even when you take that next step your still going to have to deal with things that happened in the past. Your past is what has made you the person you are today. Dont ever regret the things you did back then. You made the best decision for yourself at the time with the knowledge you had. Another cliche "Hind site is 20/20", you cant change it you just have to live with it.

My past has brought me here, to a folk in the road where I have to choose a path that I have been going down for the last few years or make a change and journey down a different path. Its so hard to make any kind of decision in life, but the ones that are going to affect the rest of your life are the hardest. Your standing on a cliff, do you take that leap and see if you can spread your wings and fly or if you fall flat on your face. No one likes changes, they scare us cause we dont know what the future holds, but no matter if your here or there you dont know what God has for you tomorrow. I have agonized over this decision and have gone back and forth with my feelings. I have done a lot of praying, talking with God and crying to Him also. I had to look at the past few years and ask myself if what I have been doing is making me happy, is it what I wanted for my life and if I stayed here would I ever find everything I want out of life. Then I looked at the other side. Is making this change going to help me find that happiness and joy that I am looking for in life. Thing is, I dont know either way. BUT one thing I do know, the path I have been going down hasnt brought me that happiness, joys and expectations I have for my life. I am thankful for the time I have had here and the people I have met and friends that I will always hold dear in my heart. And I will take with me the lessons I've learned about life. I have grown so much, and I think if I didnt have this experience here then I wouldnt be the better person I am today.

SO, I am off on a new journey. I have no idea what God has in store for me next, but I feel like I am making the right decision, taking the path God wants me to take. I will just have to find out what He has in store next. I am scared but I have faith that if I fall He will be there to pick me back up, just like He has before. 

I have mixed emotions about it though. I am leaving some people that I love so much and have become part of my family. I will always cherish the fun times and memories of them. They have taught me so much about life and I know they are only a call away but its still different when you move to a different city. They were the only ones I wanted to stay for, not for myself but just cause I love them so much and dont want to leave them. 

This week I am packing my house and my memories away for a while and holding back the tears with every box I fill and my heart breaks with every one I tape up. I guess its time to turn the page and start a new chapter.